Splitting Hairs
by Jagsrule5
Summary: Age is just a number, right? Wrong. To Jill, it's much, much more. The story of a farmer, a calculator, and a senior citizen… Oneshot


**Author's Notes: **This oneshot actually came from a conversation with my friend about Skye's strange hair color. Not sure what I was thinking when I wrote this, but I thought it was pretty funny. XD Hope you like it!

Disclaimer: I don't own Harvest Moon, and I don't think it's gonna happen anytime soon. D:

* * *

><p>The moon was glowing brilliantly in contrast to the blackened sky, lending it's light to all of the late-night lovers of Forget-Me-Not Valley. The still, peaceful waters of the goddess pond, shimmering under the bright blue lampposts, stirred slightly as a light summer breeze swept through the valley.<p>

There, underneath the grand sprite tree, sat Jill and her new fiancé, Skye, hands intertwined as they gazed into each other's eyes.

"Even the rarest of amethyst gems could not compare to the way your eyes sparkle in the moonlight," began Skye, giving his famous smolder that made every girl swoon.

"Oh, stop it," Jill giggled, pushing him playfully.

"The stars that litter the sky, the most beautiful sites in the world, none can compare to your dazzling beauty tonight. And I, the prince of-augh!"

Jill gave her 'prince' a swift jab in the gut, silencing him at once. "I said _stop it_."

Clutching his abdomen tenderly, Skye quickly regained his composure and gave her a winning smile. "Yes…of course, my love."

Jill's manipulative pout fell back into an easy grin as he said those words. Their wedding would be in a few weeks, and then the _real _party would start. But, until then, she would have to put up with his cheesy pick-up lines for a bit longer…

"Skye?" The pony-tailed farmer inquired, her eyes gradually sliding toward the ground, where her bottomless rucksack was draped across her thigh.

"Yes, my fair maiden?"

She looked up suddenly, meeting the man's gaze with a hard look. "Are we inviting your parents…to the wedding…?"

Jill knew that she was walking on shaky ground. Skye had never shown any interest in discussing his family, and she didn't want to make things hard for him now. Besides, it would really suck if she would have to go through _all _of that courting again…

But she had to know, if not to quell her curiosity then to at least cross their names off of the list.

Skye simply stared back for a moment, before breaking into a small grin. "No…no I don't think we are."

"But…why?"

His grin grew somber, bitter, "My parents are… dead. Departed from this world long ago. So, you see, they couldn't possibly come."

Jill was taken aback, him breaking the news so bluntly. She gaped at the thief, not knowing if she should console the man or leave him to his own devices. "I…I-"

Skye analyzed her flustered stare, reaching down to gently close the farmer's slack jaw before speaking. "Don't fret, love. They've been dead for many years. I believe last month was my father's one hundred and seventh birthday, in fact."

"Oh my goddess, Skye. I am so- Whoa, whoa. Wait. Did you say…one hundred and seventh? As in, _years_?"

"That's right, my little angel," the phantom cooed, plucking a small rock from the ground and skipping it across the pond.

The farmer's brow furrowed as she struggled with the large numbers. Jill had never been very good at math…that was why she became a farmer, after all.

"So your dad was…very old when you were born?" Jill implied, deciding to forget the difficult numbers and use a broader term.

Skye looked back from the spot where his rock had sunk, an exasperated grimace adorning his face. "Not particularly, no. I believe he was about thirty at the time…Can we talk about something else, my love?"

"But, wait, Skye…Doesn't that mean-"

"Did I ever tell you how stunning you look in the moonlight?" Skye cut in quickly, his voice cracking slightly, "Like a…um…moon goddess…!"

Jill raised an eyebrow, folding her arms across her chest as she gave a deadpan stare. "Moon…goddess…? What's wrong, Skye? You're acting really weird."

"Weird? Hah! Don't be silly, my princess," he crooned, looking down at his watch, "Oh, my! Look at the time! Early to bed, early to rise, eh Jill? Well, I'd best be off. Goodnight, love."

He got up quickly, bending down to kiss the top of his fiancé's head before turning to leave for the night.

Jill watched as he followed the dusty dirt path toward town, her mind not fully comprehending what had just happened. The farmer shrugged, watching the phantom thief round the corner, and decided that she would have to buy a calculator as soon as possible…

* * *

><p>"<em>Skye!<em>"

The silver headed smooth talker smirked and looked behind him, knowing at once who the voice belonged to. After all, how many _other _citizens hung out by the goddess pond at midnight? Skye only knew of one…

"Yes, my fair mai-oof!"

Jill drew back her arm, her face livid, "You mind telling me what the _hell _this is?" She pointed to the object in her clenched hand, which happened to be a tiny, handheld calculator.

Skye looked up, holding his swelling cheek with both hands. "Why, darling, that would be a calcula-ugh!"

"No! The _number,_" She shook her head and mumbled, "idiot…"

Once he had recovered from his arguably serious concussion, Skye blinked and looked back at the handheld device, his eyes widening slightly as he registered the number '_77_' plastered onto the miniature screen. "That's…"

"That's what, Skye? Hm? Did you think I didn't notice?"

"But how-?"

Jill smiled, delighted that she would be able to show off her extensive sleuthing skills. "It all makes sense, now. The hair color…the way you call everyone 'maiden'…And then what you said last night! I did the math, Skye. I _did _the math."

Skye's pallor turned from white to blue. "Y-you're not going to tell anyone…are you? A reputation is all a man has, you understand?"

The infuriated farmer simply snorted. "Why would I tell _anyone _that I dated a senior citizen? Oh, think of the _rumors_! No…no, we can't tell anyone…" She started pacing back and forth, her head resting on one outstretched arm.

The shifty gentleman breathed a sigh of relief, running a hand through his silver locks. "So, then…what now?"

"Well, I don't know about _you _but I'm finding this all a bit creepy…Obviously, the wedding's off." She replied bluntly, turning to leave the dejected thief behind.

'_Maybe, if the inn's still open, I can give Rock this tomato…_' thought the farmer, already heading down the path, '_And doesn't Gray come into town on Thursdays…?_'

Skye only nodded, fixing his gaze downward. He had hoped that she would never find out about the skeletons in his closet, but he had never guessed that she would find out so _soon_. '_That surgeon is definitely getting a strongly worded letter._' The phantom thief thought bitterly as he rubbed his flawless face.

As he stood up, ready to leave this horrible night behind him, Skye felt a sharp jab of pain shoot up his waist in the same general area that Jill had taken a punch. He winced, hissing some choice words before settling back onto the forest floor.

"Damn," he breathed, gritting his pearly white teeth, "I think I broke a hip…"

* * *

><p><strong>Well, that was fun! Hope you enjoyed my strange sense of humor. Oh, and review, too! :D<strong>


End file.
